Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Ramblings of Daniel DeBoer

As much as it would be so simple to write off a blog with no meaning (but don't be fooled, I'll be damned if I couldn't make you think it was there), that's no fun and I seem to be incapable lately of writing something that means nothing to me.  That's a good thing, of course, if you write something that has no personal meaning to it there's no point for you to write it.  So as I peruse the lunch schedule, re-organize my iPod, and look up online forums I'll try to give you all something interesting to look at.  Of course, you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't find my work interesting, so that was really just a throwaway statement to get the blog even longer.

It's odd, normally I don't start things rambling this way but it's sure more fun and provides a way to artificially lengthen the blog, not that they need it.  I suppose right now it's hard to write because I have nothing to write against.  There's plenty of topics I could cover, the ideals of capitalism, the absurdity of religion, how people come to believe censorship is great, and why people think it's kinder to avoid talking than it is to just give me a straight answer.  Show of hands, who noticed the malice in that last example?  But at the end of the day (I love that expression), I don't care.  I don't think it's a conscious effort, like people's willingness to ignore what they know to be true.  But it's deeper than not caring too, or more shallow depending on your take.  I can't find a reason to care or to not care, I just don't think about it.

What I really want to do right now is get back to developing my storyline and aspects of gameplay for a game I'm designing, but I waste enough classtime doing that so I suppose I owe it to Kunkle to write something of note.  No, I don't owe him, at least that's not the reason I feel obligated to write this.  Maybe I'll examine that right now, it'll be an experiment alright?  You and me, let's figure out why I feel obligated to put something here.


It has to be something personal, I don't operate on any other level (no one does).  I'm not doing it for grades, not fully at least.  If I did it for grades this would refer back to class.  So I'm partially doing it just because my grade depends on it.  Hmm, do I feel a need for someone to know what I'm thinking besides myself?  That's not personal so I always discard it, but let's look at it.  Do I feel a need for others to recognize my existence?

A smart person once said "It takes two to make a very great career: The man who is great, and the man-- almost rarer-- who is great enough to see greatness and say so."  And I think he's right, so perhaps I do seek for you all to think I'm great, but then I shouldn't be so tenacious about myself.  Could that be part of it?  Do I want you to recognize me, but then accept me as is?  Then I'm creating some grand contradiction, or something of that nature.  I realize that for my own sake no one needs to recognize my ability, I know my ability better than all of you.  But if I seek that recognition I want to know why...

I think that's a topic for later, because I don't think that's the issue.  Perhaps it does just come down to what I always thought.  I do this so I can materialize my thoughts,  when they're materialized they seem rational and concrete.  Also it gives me greater satisfaction to know that I can materialize my thoughts and do it in such a verbose and eloquent manner.  Let's leave it at that, I'm doing this to see how much I can do with my thoughts.  Because when I give myself an assignment of this manner (to just write something) I think I'm really doing it to see what I do.  Then of course I'm curious to see how it's reacted too.  I must admit my last venture was less successful than I wanted, with Kunkle never responding.  But the one prior was much more fun, I wonder, did you all enjoy the show me and Sam gave you?  We knew what we were doing, but him playing the devil of the game made it more fun.  So I leave you with what I may use as my cool reading excerpt (I may do this from now on, I need an extra blog for the class I missed anyway, and giving you all a cool quote I like is certainly fun)--

"I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice, and I never promised you peace of happiness. My help is so that you can be free to fight for all of those things. The only reality I offer is challenge, and being well is being free to accept it or not at whatever level you are capable. I never promise lies, and the rose-garden world of perfection is a lie - and a bore too."

3 comments:

Jimmy said...

i believe this is a blog entry, not a short incoherent story. Therefore, i did not participate in the reading of this short novel. That is all.


-Jimmy

Michael Flaherty said...

too long

Your next blog should be about something nice, like gandalf the wizard giving out hugs

Rae Rae said...

Danny-

I really liked your blog (though your friends are pretty hard on you). I liked the part when your ramblings took to you discuss caring. I always tend to care to much about even the simplist things. For example these blogs. I know that they truly aren't that big of deal. I mean it's not like our lives are dependent on them or anything to that extent. Even though I know all of this, I still care. I think that kind of obessive care just comes from each individual person. I know I have always been that kind of over-achiever, I care about everything person, but lately I have been getting lazier and lazier (sp?) maybe I am starting to change into someone new. Or maybe I just have senioritis. :)

Nice Blogging!!

-Rachel :)